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December 04.2025
3 Minutes Read

Freeze, Appease, or Fawn: Understanding Your Response to Harassment

Woman explaining freeze appease fawn response with text overlay.

Understanding Responses to Harassment: Why We Freeze

In discussions about harassment, many comment on how easy it is for victims to say they would stand up for themselves. But while it may seem simple in theory, the reality often unfolds far differently, as evidenced by a shocking study from 2001 involving college-age women. All surveyed claimed they would resist inappropriate behavior in job interviews—yet on the other side of the controlled experiment, none of them actually did when faced with those exact scenarios. This dichotomy forms a vital part of our understanding of the emotional responses to harassment and violence.

In 'The Freeze, Appease or Fawn Response to Harassment', the discussion dives into how individuals react in moments of discomfort, exploring key insights that sparked deeper analysis on our end.

The Science Behind the Freeze, Appease, or Fawn Response

The freeze, appease, or fawn responses are instinctual survival tactics deeply rooted in our biology. They stem from evolutionary mechanisms intended to protect individuals when faced with threats, such as sexual harassment or assault. During these moments, many victims, particularly women, experience an involuntary response, choosing compliance or silence over confrontation. It is critical to understand that this is not a conscious choice, but a reflexive survival tactic. The nervous system prioritizes survival, leading to feelings of paralysis, shame, and self-blame among survivors.

Why These Responses Occur: Beyond the Individual

Our societal norms play a pivotal role in shaping how we respond to harassment. Women, in particular, often feel pressured to comply or appease rather than confront aggressors head-on. This behavior is further exacerbated for individuals who have faced abuse in the past, as previous traumatic experiences can amplify the freeze response, causing them to feel even more helpless when confronted with future threats.

Emotional Resonance: Sharing Personal Stories

Personal anecdotes often shed light on the complex emotions surrounding incidents of harassment. One story that stands out is that of a new lawyer who faced an inappropriate advance from an 85-year-old man during a lunch meeting. Despite feeling uncomfortable, she found herself frozen, unable to voice her discontent or remove herself from the situation. This story touches on a universal pain point—everyone has felt trapped, whether in professional settings or social interactions. Highlighting these experiences not only fosters empathy but also encourages dialogue about how to better equip individuals to deal with these situations in the future.

Actions to Empower the Individual

Understanding these responses opens the door for practical solutions. One approach is through self-empowerment and training. Just as a first responder learns to react instinctively during emergencies, individuals can benefit from assertiveness training and self-defense classes. Practical exercises that teach how to express discomfort through assertive communication can break the cycle of silence. It is crucial to practice phrases like, “Please don't talk to me that way,” as repetition can condition one’s response under pressure.

Forgiveness: A Way to Heal

Forgiveness plays a significant role in breaking the cycle of shame that accompanies the freeze response. Society often places blame on survivors, perpetuating feelings of inadequacy. However, it is essential for individuals to recognize that the freeze response was an instinctive effort to survive—one that is not a reflection of their strength or worth. Embracing that understanding can pave the way to healing and a more empowered future.

The Role of Community Support

Creating supportive environments is critical in combating harassment. Encouraging open dialogue in schools, workplaces, and homes can empower individuals to voice their discomfort and seek help. Collective advocacy for safety and respect lays a crucial foundation for a society that honors each person's dignity without exception. Initiatives that educate both men and women on the importance of consent and respect can alter long-standing societal norms.

If you're interested in building community resilience and empowering others, consider sharing your own experiences or seeking out local workshops that focus on assertiveness training and self-defense. Engaging in these actions can help amplify the collective voice against harassment and create safer spaces for everyone.

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